The email below is from my daughter Van Le unsolicited. 

  

Sent: Friday, October 09, 2009 10:51 PM
Subject: Your Book

 

Hi Daddy,

 

It’s a bit late to call, and I’ll give you guys a call tomorrow, but I just wanted to say thank you for writing your book and that I am proud of you, and proud to call you my dad. As I sit here on my couch – one that we used to sit and watch tv together – and snow is about to fall, tears roll down my face as I read your words and my heart misses home and family.

 

I am happy to now know and understand our family and the past, and why things and everyone has become the way they are. I have always had a faint idea of what has happened with the war and what everyone has witnessed, and reading it solidifies all that I had imagined. I’ve always held Ong Noi in such high regard without knowing exactly why, and thank you for helping me understand more of who he is, as well as the rest of the family. I can tell in your writing how much you love and respect your dad – and the rest of your family – and I am so happy to see you honor him by writing this story. I hope you know that I love and respect you just as much you do your dad, and I wish I could write you a story to tell you that. The boys and I have been so blessed by you and Mom, and I hope they can read the story and appreciate it as much as I do. We have been lucky enough not to have faced any hardships and I think we can all say with some relief that our hardest times was our adolescence, which is typical. I can’t imagine after going through what you have how you watched us grow up, act bratty, have bad attitudes, be spoiled, and looking back, I thank you & Mama for your patience and understanding as the boys & I grew up.

 

I hope that Ong Noi’s generation will not be forgotten, and that all of us grandkids can read your story and continue on our ways to honor all that they did for us to live our lives today. And I hope that me and the boys can make you as proud as I’m sure Ong Noi is of you. Having been so far away from the family, I find myself thinking a lot about how grateful I am for everyone. As lonely as I am up here, I take great comfort in knowing that I’m on my way to making you guys proud of me and that you & Mom are there supporting me in whichever endeavor I choose. After reading the story, a lot of my struggles seem petty, and after knowing what you have been through, it gives me strength to keep my chin up and not to complain. I continually thank God and ask myself, how did I get so lucky?

 

So thanks for writing the book. It represents a lot to me – my family history, life lessons and values, and simply put, you. I can hear you say a lot of the passages in my head and that brings me more comfort than you know. I know you are no stranger to homesickness, and I’m sure you have had your days where you miss Vietnam and this in no way compares, but your little book really helps me to cope with mine. I was absent and rarely home growing up, I didn’t know how hard it would be for me to be away. When Cau Nam was sick and each time I talked to you or Mom you guys were upset, it was very hard for me not to be physically present to at least help out at home or just be there. I am lucky enough to have your personality in where I can be quite content wherever I am and make the most of it, but I do ache quite a bit to be with family. Perhaps it’s loneliness or this strange transition into adulthood. Regardless, the book helps in many ways.

 

Well I rambled a bit more than I intended, but I guess reading put me in a literary mood. I’m glad I finally got to read your book, and know that I always look forward to any piece or essay that you write no matter the subject. Give Mama, Minh, and Lacy love and hugs for me. I will see you all on Friday!

 

Much love,

Van

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This is precisely why I have written this book.  The story of my parents and how our family got here, as I remembered it, will live on forever in writing for anyone that cares to read it. Yet if there was only one person that I wish would read this book, it would be my daughter Van. And perhaps her younger brothers Vinh and Minh in due time.  Van’s sentiments and reactions were exactly what I had wished for.  Her sense of belonging, her understanding and compassion for her heritage, and above all her love and acceptance of who we are and who she is, were worth every effort of mine in writing this book.

 

I am so deeply proud of Van and wish that the generation of our children could share her sentiment.

 

Vui Le